On books
Life might have been hectic and things might have been rough, but the joy I took in books and music never wavered.
— Haruki Murakami
My life would be so different without books. Back then, life felt like a race and all I did was to live in survival mode—always on edge and rushing ahead. “Letters to a Young Poet”1 taught me to be patient. It’s okay not to figure everything out. I learnt to make time on my side.
Looking at the current media, there’s no word that could describe my resentment toward short-form contents. So much engineering effort is being invested to steal the attention of people. Some executives are prioritising the number of views to human development. Reading materials are somewhat subjected to this trend. I do understand certain benefits of writing a tweet, but I have never found interest in reading them. Breaking down your argument into several tweets in a thread is silly. Just write a blog post about it!
Short-form contents aim to shorten our experience. They are a form of information drug that is injected into us. Good time we had, but at what cost? I never remember anything significant after scrolling through thousands of posts, or reading hundreds of tweets. Worse, I always feel guilty after consuming those contents. They are fast, ephemeral, disposable—everything feels more or less the same.
In contrary, reading a book is often a struggle for me. It can take weeks or months for me to sufficiently “absorb” a book, especially if it’s a novel or a technical book. Recently, I have taken the courage to read Pride and Prejudice—a British classic that I have always wanted to read. Honestly, the reading experience made me feel insecure with my English ability, as I had to accompany myself with a dictionary and repeatedly reread the paragraphs to understand the flow of the writing. Oh, but how wonderful that experience was! Jane Austen’s writing style is gorgeous and playful; it’s like a change of fresh air, compared to the rigid reading materials during my day work.
Reading strengthens my love for the English language. I have made extra effort to persistently stick to a book: looking for strange words in the dictionary, taking notes, and referring back to the film.2 I have taken the active role, instead of numbingly consuming passive information. I discovered the joy of reading books you don’t entirely understand, as nothing good comes easy. That’s why I keep coming back to books for more—to feel good, to discover. Not that kind of pleasure of instant gratification, but something slower and more sustainable.
How humiliating is this discovery! […] Pleased with the preference of one, and offended by the neglect of the other, on the very beginning of our acquaintances, I have courted prepossession and ignorance, and driven reason away, where either were concerned. Till this moment, I never knew myself.
— Elizabeth Bennet, in “Pride and Prejudice”
I have given up the notion of catching up with the flow of fast-paced information—faster, more productive, and more famous. Many even sacrifice the quality of writing to appear on the first page of a search engine.3 I enjoy the finding of a random, beautiful written quote in a book. I might stop reading, contemplate the meaning behind it, and sometimes even read it aloud. I rarely do that when reading an article on the Internet today. All I wish is to discover your wisdom and listen to what you want to say, not to buy a random product. Stop bombarding me with a ridiculous number of advertisements.4
I always have to brace myself when going to the comment section, since aside from some good opinions, it often contains a mess of broken grammar, distorted sentences, too many emojis, fancy stickers, and distracting GIFs. Most people aren’t writers, but do they even try to make a conversation? Some even take the advantage of anonymity to write “dirty” words, to provoke hatred or to put people down.
I would rather resort to my cosy, peaceful corner of books. Because “there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo”.5 Books move at a different pace. An author has to put a considerable effort, sometimes even out of their comfort zone, to publish their books. The world is moving too fast already, that’s all the more reasons we should move slower, and put more thoughts into what we’re writing and saying. We’re humans—it’s impossible to fight back the Infinity. We might as well take our limited time and produce what we think we’re proud of.
“Books are cool, the Internet was a mistake!” I hope you don’t come to this conclusion after reading my thoughts. Without the Internet, I could not discover programming and new books to read.6 It makes it easy for me to write something, publish it, and share it to my friends or some strangers. It’s not black and white, nor must there be one superior to another. There are “bad” books too. The opinions are subjective; I have the freedom to choose to pursue reading one. It’s about the contents, rather than the aesthetics of owning a book.
Not just the contents, but there is something intimate in the way I can physically hold a book in my hand (and sniff it). I have never been able to find that feeling when reading books on a Kindle or an iPad. I bet many readers share that same thought with me. Anyway, I’m not complaining about my Kindle, as it’s super useful whenever I travel anywhere. It’s just that I cannot compare the experience of browsing books on an online website to wandering in a real bookshop.
I read whatever I like. I have never read because someone told me to. People can give advice, but the ultimate decision is mine. I pick up a book, try reading some pages. If it suits me, I will stick to it. Otherwise, if a book is too intimidating, or it just doesn’t suit me at that moment, I stop reading. Life is too short to waste time on something we don’t like, or we haven’t had enough knowledge to understand it yet. It’s fine to take the roundabout way; trust in the future there would be a right time for everything. “Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer”, Rilke wrote.1
However, commitment does matter, too. Giving up a book too early is an impatient habit, especially if one reads a technical textbook. Strike the balance; there’s no fixed rule here. Setting a reading challenge is a good step, as consistency creates momentum to read more. Reading more is not equal to ticking checkboxes of how many books you have read, but how much you have gained from reading it—much like spending quality time with a close friend.
Books have made a large part of myself, both in life and in my vocation. I have never learned anything properly from bite-sized lessons or articles. Entertaining they are, but to truly grasp something, I have always had to collect myself, labour through each chapter of the book, one page at a time. Some might prefer a companion to study or work better, but I need that solitude. Just me and the plain, old, wise book friend.